Personal Diary: What am I doing

Posted on Wed Mar 3rd, 2021 @ 2:47pm by Lieutenant Dr. M’Sara Rth’than M.D.

Dear Diary,

It is interesting. How technology can sometimes compromise you. I've never kept personal logs on the base computer, as I do not trust Starfleet with my inner thoughts.

I don't think I have ever encountered this much hatred for one woman in my entire life. And now the possibility of any form of reconcilliation has flown right out the window between me, Consul Tolkath, and the Second Officer.

She tollerates a Tal Shair agent on this base. Defends him, Defends the Tal Shiar's brutality and methods. Then pretends that the unparapelled suffering they've iinflicted upon people escaping the star empire is some kind of delusion I've conjured. Sticks up for murderors and killers. Then, when all that has been said and done. She has to unmititgated gall to require me to show up for a diplomatic function where I am required to eat and drink with the very people that time and time again, kidnapped and murdered Romulan Dissidents just for questioning the direction the Empire was heading in.

Even when I came aboard, they talked about the Romulan Girl. Just like the fools in my high school, only this time, they spoke about the Romulan Girl in their native tongue. Like a brown-nosing french couple.

And the most painful part of this is... I'm growing close to the Executive Officer. Daynah saw a side of me, that she shouldn't have seen. I am torn and undone by being here, and I came here because I was talked into it by the Director of Starfleet Medicine.

Green Blooded Hob-Goblins

I'm beginning to realize Dr. Leonard McCoy might have been right about Vulcans. The two here are most certainly out of their Vulcan Minds!!

But then again, if I'm not here, No doubt the person Tolkath will bring in to replace me will not be able to tell the difference between a Shar-Kel blood type and a D'Nak Type. They'll use the Vulcan blood typing baded on comparitive biology between Vulcans and Romulans.

It's wrong... all of it wrong... Based on suppositions made while we had a Neutral Zone forming between the Star Empire and the Federation., and I could refute paper after paper that tells every physician in the quadrant there's no difference between an Apple and an Orange.

I know they're going to bring people in to second-guess me in my own medical department. I am not about to tollerate that. Tolkath's authority ends in my medical bay, and I'll have security escort her out if necesary. I believe it's time to tell the receptionist that if Tolkath or any of her department is healthy, they're not permitted in Medical. I'll even put up with that Tal'Shair agent in Medical. But I am not going to let him walk around like the damned gestapo deciding who lives and who gets sent to Auschwitz

Make no mistake. I cannot kill, but I have to follow their orders. Sometimes I curse my emotions and my own Romulan dedication to duty. If these people are in my Sickbay... They're safe... I'll do anything to ensure they live. Even if Colonel Dimura has a knife in his gut, I'll save his miserable life.

But any other place, at any other time... I'll do what I have to in order to ensure those I love live. Maybe I should make peace, but I don't know if that will happen with Lesai Tolkath. I feel neutral zones around me now. I'm going to have another good cry now.

End Diary.